Castle Dracula - Wildwood, NJ (Guest Post by Sean Gallagher)

When I was a child, my family and I often traveled to the Jersey Shore to bask in the Summer sun.  For us, a trip to Pt. Pleasant or Seaside, NJ was a quick break from the everyday hustle and bustle of the real world.  But, just a bit further south, was Wildwood, NJ.  My time there was rare, but one thing I'll never forget was this giant castle that stood out head and shoulders above the other attractions.  I was far too small and even more afraid to get anywhere close to it, but I'll never forget my Father and cousin entering what I considered Hell's gates.  Although I was too young to understand, I was looking at one of the most beloved New Jersey landmarks of all time!  Given that I don't have the memories or knowledge to truly capture what this place was, I reached out to one of my best friends, Sean Gallagher.  Today, in this very special guest post, I invite you to sit back and read from his point of view.

Take it away, @Writer_Sean

In a Dark, Dark Room

When I was a kid, about 7-years-old, we used to hold one English class in the Library every week.  To show how much the times have changed, our assignments included learning the dewey decimal system and actually researching topics by checking out books, reading, and presenting our findings in the form of a short story the following week.  I hated reading novels when I could be drawing pictures, so I usually checked out books that taught you how to draw or talked about sports.  I had no interest in learning about poetry in the 2nd grade.  But, in that year, I stumbled across a book that I must have checked out 60 different times between then and 8th-grade graduation.  It was one that I loved for so many reasons and couldn't get enough of.  Yesterday, I found that book.

"In a Dark, Dark Room and Other Scary Stories" is a book that I've been talking about for years.  Whenever I see old classmates, this has a tendency of coming up because we used to argue over who got to check it out that week and why.  Because it was so great, we all fought over owning it for the next 7 days, regardless of how many times we'd already read it.  By just having it in our possession, it turned any time of year into a spooky time of year.  It's something I've been meaning to write about on The Holidaze, but never got around to ordering online.  Luckily, as we were looking for Halloween candy and decorations, we happened to find it at Michael's Craft Store. The memories came flooding back as soon as I saw the cover.

Basically, "In a Dark, Dark Room" is a collection of 7 scary stories written to scare the hell out of little kids.  I don't remember if they frightened me or not, but smart money says they did because they obviously stuck with me and one in particular.  The stories were short, but gave you enough information to let your imagination run wild.  With a bit more elaboration, every one of these tales could have been featured on "Are You Afraid of the Dark."  Even reading as an adult, they still hold up in a way some nostalgia doesn't.

The first story, "The Teeth," is pretty ridiculous, but I was younger than the character in the tale and put myself in his shoes.  This kid is hurrying home in the dark, attempting to avoid confrontation, when he comes across three different men who all end up grinning at him.  The first man had teeth measuring 3-inches-long, with the next two having gradually bigger grills.  As it says, he took one look and ran all the way home.

Sure, maybe these men were harmless people with poor hygiene, but he wasn't taking any chances.  Imagine seeing somebody with teeth bigger than your head!?  As an adult, that's insane to think about.  As a 7-year-old, that's ALL I was thinking about.  Thankfully I only lived one block away from school or I would have been going out of my mind.  If nothing else, this is a tale that reminds kids to brush their teeth or they'll end up like the begging bums standing in front of a toothpaste ad.

The next story entitled "In The Graveyard" creeped me out because of the art.  If you look at the images from "In a Dark, Dark Room," you can see why kids would be afraid.  While they're cartoony, the illustrations, along with the style and color, still manage to maintain a sense of realism.  I remember the first time I saw the dead corpses lying in their caskets.  At that age, I don't think I'd ever seen a dead body so this might have been my first visual.

To make things spookier, the story features a woman, sitting in the graveyard, talking to the dead corpses. Why in the world is there a woman talking to corpses in the graveyard?? That's scary enough, but then she asks "Will I be like you when I am dead?"  I was starting to wonder the same thing.

The response?

"You will be like us, when you are dead!"

Man, listen, this was art that stood out in my mind for a long time.  One guy is kicking his legs back, another looks like he's sorry for what he's about to do, and the third has red eyes; motioning in a way only vampire's do before they feast.  As soon as I got home and went through the pages, this brought it all back to me.  As a fan of Halloween, I respect the art and love what it did for me as a kid, but I can remember how scared I was to walk in the cemetery.  Tonight, I'll just tell myself they're homeless triplets who needed a place to sleep.

Skipping around here, let's move on to the next story, "In a Dark, Dark Room," which goes like this..

"In a dark, dark wood,

there was a dark, dark house.

And in that dark, dark house,

there was a dark, dark, room.

And in that dark, dark room,

there was a dark, dark chest.

And in that dark, dark chest,

there was a dark, dark shelf.

And on that dark, dark shelf,

there was a dark, dark box.

And in that dark, dark box,

there was a --

Okay, not the greatest of stories, but I remember my teacher reading it to us aloud on Halloween.  Like every good teacher, she spoke the words and showed us all the pictures by holding the book high and moving it from side to side.  There's always that one kid who says he can't see.

When she got to the last page, she screamed "A GHOST!" and flipped the book around as fast as she could!  Looking back, I think she found great joy in jolting our tiny hearts to beat out of our chests.  The tale may be dull, but the delivery was top-notch.  When I have kids, they're getting the same treatment.  It's only fair.

Next, we have "The Night it Rained" and this was a scary one.  This is actually so familiar that it may have been adapted into a television episode on one series or another.  Basically, as a man drove by the cemetery, he finds a young boy named Jim standing outside in the rain.  Feeling bad for him, he stops the car and asks him where he lives.  The boy tells him and gets in the car.  Because he's all wet and cold, the man gives him his old sweater and tells him he'll pick it up tomorrow.

When the man arrives to pick up his sweater, a woman answers the door.  The man asks for Jim, but the woman says it must have been another boy because here Son, Jim, has been dead for over a year.  She said, "He's buried in the cemetery."

Feeling horrible, the man went to pay his respects..

Creeeeepy! I have a similar story to share.  When I was a teenager, my family and I went to Salem, MA for their Halloween festivities.  We parked near a Dunkin Donuts and used that as our landmark to find the car later.  Well, little did we know there are a billion Dunkin Donuts' in Massachusetts.  We walked around for well over an hour, in the freezing cold, with absolutely no idea where we were.  

Finally, we found an old diner.  Being that this was before cell phones had taken over the world, we needed to ask for help.  My Dad talked to one of the waitresses and described the location.  She had a fairly good idea as to where we parked and offered to drive us there.  Thanks to her, we found the car and made it back to our hotel safe and sound.

The next day, we went back to the diner to eat and thank the waitress, but the diner had been closed for years...

Nahh, I'm just kidding, she was there and was very happy to help.  But how awesome would that have been?  That makes for a much better story.  I'm gonna stick with the lie.

I'm skipping "The Pirate" and "The Ghost of John" because they're not that great, but "The Green Ribbon" makes up for both of them.  This is the one that truly stuck with me.  In fact, when I talk about this book, this is the only story I care to mention because this really stood out as one of the scariest, freakiest, emotionally disturbing tales I'd ever read.  To this day, I don't think there's any "Goosebumps" episode creepier than this one.

Instead of summing it up for you, check out this video for the complete story!! I found it on YouTube so the volume's not great, but the story is worth hearing through the deep voice of the narrator.  Great stuff!

So, what do you think?  Did it scare you, by any chance?

I highly recommend buying this book, especially if you have kids who are old enough to read, but young enough to be scarred for life.  As for me, I finally own a 1984 classic and the whole world knows that I can read!

Times Scare

Well before the Hurricane hit, my Girlfriend, my Cousins, and I took the train over to NY for a night out at "Times Scare."  I read about this online and I was excited to check it out because it provided two main attractions that I was interested in.  The first was the Haunted House.  I'll never turn down a good Haunted House and, because this Times Scare attraction is open all year-round, I figured this one would be amazing.  Plus, it also featured the "Crypt Cafe."  That's what I was really excited about.  It was a Halloween-themed restaurant.  How is that not a good time?

The Crypt Cafe was up first.  When we sat down at our Medical Slab tables (great touch) we waited for our waitress while I snapped that picture.  What is it?  That's the kitchen.  That's where the food was cooked and came out from.  How cool is that?  It's like our food was made by a demonic butcher.  It looks red, it looks plastic, it looks bloody.  Things were starting off great!

 

We weren't particularly hungry, but we wanted to at least try the appetizers.  Let me tell ya, the service here was pretty horrible.  Our waitress was nice and seemed to be doing as much as she could, but they were sooo slowww.  It was like they forgot all about us for 30 minutes.   We weren't in a rush, so it wasn't much of a problem, plus I'm not one to complain, but it was definitely something we took notice of.  If you're open all year-round, you should probably be on point.  I can't imagine it being easy to pay rent in Times Square when you're primarily a Halloween attraction.

Pictured above, we have the "Bat Wings," which were basically chicken wings.  They look burnt, but they weren't.  They were died black to appear as if they're bat wings.  It was a nice touch and, overall, they tasted pretty good.  But to be honest, I was more interested in drinking at that point.  They had really cool options on the menu.

 

So, as soon as these monster nachos came out, covered in just about everything you could imagine, we narrowed down our alcoholic choices and planned on living it up in New York City.  The drinks were probably the main reason I decided to mention the Crypt Cafe to my dynamic duo and, specifically, it was this Embryoelectroplasma shot.  It looks evil, it looks demonic, it looks disgusting, it looks like Halloween!!

My girlfriend had no interest in drinking underdeveloped babies, but my cousin and I had to give this a "shot."  These twins were meant to be thrown back, regardless of what they tasted like.  The menu said it was fruit with a hit of peach schnapps so we weren't expecting anything strong, but still, what were those "babies" made out of?  It looks like Kahlua or Bailey's, but there was only one way to find out.

Well, let me tell you, I have no idea what those babies were, but they were gross and chunky.  I have a rule that once you start taking a shot, you can't stop.  If you don't know what you're about to drink, then you either turn it down or go all the way.  There's no in between.  Well, as soon as I swallowed that first chunk, I knew the next three swigs were going to be just as rough.  It was horrible.  It wasn't the flavor, it was the texture.  The fruity blood at the bottom tasted great, but it wasn't easy getting there.  I think it's safe to say that I'll never take this shot again, but it was one of the highlights of my night and I'm glad we did it for Halloween.

Do you know what that is?  That's Absinthe! I've heard crazy things about Absinthe and I always wanted to try it.  I know it was outlawed in The United States until recently because of it's hallucinogenic inducing abilities (no idea if that made sense) but it's here now and I was excited to try it.  Apparently it's 120 proof and helped Edgar Allan Poe write his creepy classics.  I was ready to throw it back and start writing cryptic tales of birds and murder.  But first, it had to be prepared. 

Once it was ready, my cousin Phil and I were ready to go. My girlfriend sat this one out and chose to go with a safer drink of choice, but she changed her mind later that night, anyway.

The smell was intense and the aroma was really throwing me off.  It smelled like licorice and I realllly hate licorice.  Friends of mine told me how great this tastes and how much they liked it, but I'm guessing they like licorice because that's exactly what this was.  This was like somebody melted a black string of licorice, dyed it green, and told me to drink it for a hallucination.  The result?

They say a picture says a 1,000 words, and It's safe to say this one says at least that much.  My cousin Phil (in the yankee hat) looks like he just drank gasoline.  He looks like his life has come to an end.  Me?  All I can do is stare at him with the look of despair.  As if to say "Did we seriously just drink that?"  I think my eyebrows actually say more.  "Do we really have THIS much left before it's over?"  Yeah, it was that bad.  I hated it, but I loved what it represented and what it was supposed to do.  I didn't wind up seeing any Ravens, but, regardless of what our mugs say, it provided a nice feeling for the night.  

It looks pretty or, in the case of Halloween, it looks spooky.  Ya can't beat drinking a lime green drink at any time of the year.  But don't let it fool you, it looks so much better than it tastes and, for that reason, multiple photos were necessary.

My girlfriend ordered her own Absinthe after we did and it wasn't quite as strong.  Trust me, it didn't taste any better, but didn't hit as hard as the first two.  If, for nothing else, it makes for a great picture of my beautiful lady with a classic drink. 

We went a different route in our pose.  We wanted to warn you all that this drink is serious.  It's out to get you.  If you don't like licorice, it will attack your taste buds and demolish your throat on the way down.  It's dangerous and, for Halloween, what else could you ask for?  In all seriousness, it's a fun drink for October.  I'd drink it again and really push it's potential, but I'd rather a different flavor.  How about, instead of licorice, we go with Strawberry Twizzlers?  Same family, different impact.  Make it happen, Lucid!

It was now time to move on to the Haunted House so we got in line and waited about 45 minutes before getting inside.  Outside, they had a few characters walking around, but nothing like Blood Manor.  They did things right, inside and out.  Times Scare was a disappointment, but their decorative items throughout the halls were impressive.  Unfortunately, that was about as impressive as it got in terms of Haunted Houses.

 

When a building is completely decorated, from floor to ceiling, with realistic spider webs, a monstrous  Sistine Chapel, fake dirt and rust, you assume that the performances inside will be just as awesome.  I really wish I could say they were, but I was let down.  Most of the time, we walked through empty rooms, without any actors at all, only to find poorly decorated rooms with little to no props.  I don't get it.  You're open all year round, so why not put more effort into your main event?

To top things off, this guy popped out from his eternal slumber and stole my girlfriend.

Eh, he seems kinda skinny to me..

Seriously, to conclude, I wouldn't go to Times Scare again.  It has sooo much potential that you find yourself cheering the place on, just hoping that they would reach the brass ring and become one of the greats, but it lets you down just when you think it's going to be great.  I give it a 6 out of 10 and, in my book, that's failing.  I wouldn't recommend it to anybody, but I'd definitely have you check out the Crypt Cafe for the awesome Halloween drinks.  But that's it.  Don't buy any tickets, don't waste your money, just drink.. then go to Blood Manor.