I don't know about you, but I have had very little luck in terms of finding any Halloween candy, costumes, or decorations. There are a few places, like Michael's Crafts and Party City, that are offering a bit, but I like to hold off on the bigger items until October rolls around. In September, I'm all about new items, cereal, food, and drinks before we get into Haunted Houses and spooky visits a month later. Unfortunately, my local Walgreens and Target are still not cooperating and, for the most part, they're still focused on "Back-to-School." Luckily, during yesterday's search, I found something that bridges the gap between Justin Bieber folders and the thrill of Halloween!
In my life, I've never had a box of Lunchables. I was always intrigued by the commercials and, at times, found myself jealous of kids who had an awesome assortment of DIY munchies at the cafeteria table, but it wasn't something I ever had. As a kid, I went from bringing my Batman lunchbox filled with peanut butter and jelly, Ecto-Cooler, and Ninja Turtle fruit snacks to buying a relatively good lunch from school. There was never an in-between but, looking back, it would have been great if that in-between existed and featured a Lunchables cameo. Buying them yesterday gave me a "Step Brothers" moment and reminded me of when they put on the night-vision goggles. "Can you imagine if we had these when we were 12?" Even better, I got 'em when I'm 26!
I'd heard about these Halloween Lunchables about a month ago and they've been found by a number of Twitter friends since. Every review I heard was a good one and, let's face it, there was no way I was passing up a food product that is completely decked out for Halloween. The box I saw pictured featured Dracula, but then I found this guy staring back at me in the frozen foods aisle. His stale grin may not say much, but it says enough to screw over the Vampire and bring Frankenstein home with me.
Look, Lunchables are great. Frankenstein is awesome. But the true selling point is pictured above. Not only are you getting an appropriately colored green witch made out of chocolate to snack on, but you're getting Kool-Aid Ghoul-Aid, as well!!! No.. not the traditional packet we've all come to know and love, but a Ghoul-Aid JAMMER!! These are the real deal, folks! Just check out Dinosaur Dracula's full review of an entire BOX of Ghoul-Aid Jammers! It's amazing. I knew they were coming, but never expected a promotional tie-in like this. Just imagine how cool it must feel to be a 3rd Grader, sitting at the cafeteria table, with a Ghoul-Aid Jammer and a witch head for dessert. You instantly become the coolest kid in school, or you're getting beaten up for celebrating Halloween in September. Either way, you'll probably be writing about it in 20-years.
Having never had a box of Lunchables before, I didn't know how to go about eating them. I asked my girlfriend if they had to be microwaved, which led to a stare much like the one Frankenstein gave me at Target. "Do you really think little kids microwave these at school?" What do I know? I'm a picky eater. I like my nacho cheese hot, but now I'm in the loop and will pretend and act as if this story isn't true. Regardless of how out of touch I might have been with these Lunchables, I loved the presentation of both the box and the food and couldn't wait to free that milk chocolate witch from her wrapper.
I love everything about this candy!! First of all, my box was left in the trunk for about an hour on an 82-degree day so I thought she might have melted. Fortunately, only water makes witches melt and this lady was strong enough to withstand the heat. Second, I'm proud of Lunchables for giving us a treat that actually resembles the one on the box. I wasn't sure if she'd actually be green, which is the only true color for a witch, but I'm glad they didn't trick me with the box art. This is legit! Finally, the details are only second to the flavor. The milk chocolate witch head is just as good as any other popular candy you're going to find this season. In fact, I'd take this over a Reeses peanut butter pumpkin, any day! Blasphemy, right?
After unwrapping the witch, who I've named Hazel, I placed her back in with her nacho men. They'd attempt to protect her from an untimely demise, but I couldn't wait until all of the nachos were gone before devouring her. Her destiny was already written, but the nachos I had prior were very, very, good!! I wasn't expecting much out of Lunchables when it came to flavor, but these are wonderful! I don't know if they'd fill me up, especially compared to the food I ate at 7th grade Lunch, but they're definitely tasty. The Dracula version was a "cheese pizza" variety, but I chose this one instead. To be honest, I might actually go back for the other. It's that good!
For as good as everything was, nothing compares to the main event - Kool-Aid Ghoul-Aid! After all, The Holidaze 2013 Halloween logo is based on this very drink! I mean, when kids see this in the aisle, they won't be able to pass it up. I often talk about Hi-C Ecto-Cooler and, for many kids of this generation, this may very well be what they remember as their "Ecto-Cooler." I love the fact that we grown-ups (who haven't really grown up) can enjoy this drink, but I'm even happier for the kids living in 2013. They don't know it now, but sometime down the road, they're going to look back on this Halloween season and remember it for things like Kool-Aid Ghoul-Aid Jammers, Lunchables' chocolate witch heads, Monster Cereals, and the nostalgia that they'll one day ignite. But in the meantime, let us nerdy adults enjoy the moment and rejoice in Ghoul-Aid FINALLY becoming one hell of a Jammer!
I drank half of my Ghoul-Aid out of the Jammer pouch, but the rest of it had to be poured into my new glass bought at Target for a mean buck. It's not really a glass, it's a plastic, but I love it and wanted to feel like a real-life, spooky ghoul while drinking out of a cup made from golden skeleton bones. That's badass! Of course, the Ghoul-Aid looks as amazing as it tastes. It's a deep purple color that looks like the blood of an evil demon. The only downside is that I finished it way too fast and now I'm craving more. Yet another reason to go out, apologize to Dracula, and bring him and his pizza home.
As mentioned, there was no way Hazel was making it longer than the nacho men, but I only took her mouth and chin away from her. The rest survived a bit longer before she met her delicious end, but I like how she's looking down, wondering where the hell her mouth went. Sorry, Hazel.
If you're reading The Holidaze, you're probably a fan of Halloween and, believe me when I tell you, this is one of those products that you'll want to pick up! One of many, this year! I believe there was a Halloween version of Lunchables last year, but it didn't include Ghoul-Aid and that alone is worth the money. Even at my age, this is an item that I'll remember years from now and, obviously, I tried making it more fun than it actually is to enhance the memory even further. Target and Walgreens may be off their game, but this is another indication that we're in the midst of an unbelievable Halloween that has only just begun!
A very special thanks to Strange Kids Club, and John from FEARnet and Freddy in Space for bringing more attention to the designs than I could have imagined!