Sunday, September 23, 2012

Cups & Coffin Creepers

Today, I'm discussing two Halloween novelties that I recently picked up at two different stores.  As the very uncreative title and banner state, we're talking about Halloween cups and Coffin Creepers.  What are Coffin Creepers?  We'll get to that in a bit, but let's begin with the cool cups we found at Wal-Mart!

While looking for Halloween treats, my girlfriend and I found a selection of Cool Gear Halloween Cups on the end cap of the Birthday aisle.  I have no idea why they were so randomly placed and not put in the Halloween section, but sometimes that enhances the excitement.  When you find something Halloweeny in an area you weren't expecting, your heart jumps a beat.  I know, that's pretty sad, but I can't deny how thrilled I get over Halloween and the various products released every year.  The little things are always the big things and, in this case, these cups are huge!  Not only do they keep things hot or cold, but they also glow in the dark!  Oh yeah..

There were at least 8 different styles of cups at Wal-Mart, but we only purchased two.  One for me, and one for the lady.  The purple cup above is hers.  I almost got this one for myself until I saw the one I ultimately picked, but we'll get to that next.  Let's just talk about this one for a second because I really love the design.  It features a Haunted House surrounded by wicked trees in a spooky town.  The purple color makes it look so ominous.  Obviously, all of those things are shrouded in the background by what's up close and way too personal.. Skeletons!

Ya can never tell what skeletons are thinking.  Are they happy?  Mad?  Sad?  Without any skin or muscles, all facial expression has faded and we're left with a blank stare.  I like to think that these bodiless creatures are friends, because they're dancing as if they're at a rave, but I'm not sure.  It also looks like they're trying to keep us from walking up the Haunted Path, but maybe that's just so they have us to themselves.  Maybe all they want to do is steal our body, wrap it around them, and live again.  Last year, I mentioned how I was far from frightened by skeletons, but this cup has changed my views.  On this cup, they're unpredictable and completely untrustworthy.  Hey, after all, they were once human.  If that's not scary, what is?

There were a few cups I had in my hand before I decided on which I would take home, but this was hidden behind the others and, as soon as we saw it, I knew this was the one.  I felt like I was picking a puppy.  The others were great, but as soon as I looked into Frankenstein's eyes, I knew he was coming home with me.  I mean, just look at the monster!  He can't walk straight, he's wearing jeans that flare, sneakers that appear to be Chucks, and he has some type of boa around his neck.  He looks like he should be in a remake of The Warriors rather than a Halloween cup, but that's why I like him!  He's not your average Franky, he's a hip, modern day version of the beast.  He still has the same motive, but he's going about life with more style.  He's changing with the times!  Now, if only a dermatologist could tolerate his temper for a moment to help him with his head scar.  You're getting there, Frank!

Frankenstein would have been enough for me, but there are two more characters featured on this cup and the next is Dracula.  I guess you could call him a generic vampire, but I refuse to believe that this isn't the lord of all vampires, Dracula himself.  He looks great.  Whoever designed him did a terrible job and he's obviously very poorly drawn, but that's what make him so perfect!  It's Halloween, I'm not looking for perfection!  Save that for Christmas.  For now, give me the cheap decorations, choppy edges, a head to big for a body, and feet too small.

Looking at Dracula a bit closer, I wonder what he has behind him.  It appears to be a black hole filled with demonic eyes peeking through the darkness, but I'm going to make something else up.  I'm going to say that Dracula has either picked up Skateboarding or Surfing as a new hobby.  This guy has been undead for over 500 years.  You must get really bored in that time.  I've only been alive for 25 and I write in a blog to pass time.  Imagine year 250?  I'd definitely transform into a bat, fly to Hawaii, and go surfing for a few hours.  Not a bad life if you ask me.

What's best about this Dracula?  The fact that his shoes are tied.  I've never imagined Dracula awaking from his slumber, bags under his eyes, sitting down on the edge of his bed and putting his shoes on.  He ties them one shoe at a time before beginning his night?  It's hard to believe.  I can picture President Obama doing so.  I even believe the Queen of England dresses herself.  But Dracula?  No way.. I have to imagine that he has somebody do that for him.  Then he bites their neck and hires somebody new.

Our third character is the Mummy and, looking at him, I can now tell that the demonic eyes surround the entire cup, not just Dracula.  So maybe he wasn't surfing, but I still stand by what I wrote and think he's definitely hit the waves at least once in his hundreds of years.  Now, the Mummy, on the other hand, is having a rough time.  His face is weathered, his teeth are rotten, his wrapping is falling off and he has to have a few blisters on those uncovered feet.  Poor guy.  What is a Mummy's purpose in after-life?  He restlessly wanders around looking for his tomb?  I don't know, but I feel bad for the Mum.. All he wants to do is rest in peace but, instead, he's falling to pieces.  Frankenstein and Dracula are both living the high life, really stepping up their game, while the Mummy has become emaciated.  All he wants is a Big Mac.  But look, he's no bum, I know he can afford to live better.  With all the royalties he's receiving from Cool Gear, we all know he can go out and buy some new Charmin.  Yea..thinking this over, you only have yourself to blame, Mummy!  ;)

Moving on, it's time to talk about Coffin Creepers!  Sure, I could have split these two topics into separate posts, but nahhh.. I was really busy this past week and didn't get a chance to post much, so I'm attempting to overload on a lazy Sunday.  For any loyal readers that I do have, I don't want to leave anybody hanging during the Halloween season.  I may slack off during other times of year, but not during THIS season!  Christmas is my favorite holi-day, but Halloween is my favorite Holi-DAZE!  So, let's keep this big chunk rolling with Coffin Creepers Lollipops!

These caught my eye because of they way they're presented.  Lollipops packaged in a boxed coffin?  Awesome.  Great designs on the coffin, specifically the characters' face next to the flavor?  Even better.  As soon as I saw them, I knew I had to get one, but wound up with two out of three.  Only the green Mummy was left hanging and, for Holidaze purposes, I regret not getting him when I saw him.  But alas, I have two to talk about and, above, we have "Vampire Very Cherry."  They probably could have done something with the word "blood," but I can live with the flavor since they included "Vampire" and didn't get all cheap on us by not printing his awesome face.

Check this guy out!  At first, given his blue coloring, I thought he was a zombie.  But now that I look at it, I was wrong.  He's a skeleton.  "Bone Rattlin' Blue Raspberry!"  Now that's a bit more creative than the Vampire variety.  They went for alliteration on this one and I appreciate the effort.  Again, we have that printed face design which, upon further review, looks like a South Park character.  I'm cool with that.  We get to see what these monsters would look like if they were on television.  I say they'd make great characters on any Halloween series.  But most of all, I'm just happy this knucklehead is blue!  They could have made him white, as would be traditional for any skeleton, but they stepped it up and lured me right in with the blue!

Look at how the boxes open!!  They open like real Coffins!  That's such an awesome touch.  I really thought these guys were going to pop out from the top or have to be ripped out from the bottom, but this was the best possible way to get them out.  It seems simple, but so often do big companies overlook the little things and figure you'll just buy it anyway.  Believe me, I've passed up on multiple Halloween items already this year just because they only went half-way.  Look at it this way, I have the Jets game on right now.  If Sanchez only gets that ball to the goal line, it isn't a touchdown.  Go for your field goal, take your three points, that's great.  But if you want to win, go all the way.  Go all out!  And that applies to the companies that release Halloween products every year.  If you want my money, make the extra effort!  Coffin Creepers did!

When I first saw these, I thought they were marshmallows.  I'm not a huge fan of marshmallow candy items.  I can eat marshmallows, but when it comes to things like peeps or marshmallow lollipops, I have to pass.  There's something so artificial about them that they taste too fake for me.  Luckily, when I looked closer, I realized these bad boys were hard candy like a real lollipop should be! 

Now, without the plastic wrappers, I can get a good look at them.  First, look at Bone Rattler.  He's amazing.  He's blue, appears to have a crack in his skull, has a nose like Michael Jackson, and completely rotten teeth.  I don't know how I have a problem eating gooey boogers, but actually get excited over the thought of eating his little yellow teeth off.  Sometimes, I don't even get myself.

Dracula.. I mean, the Vampire.. looks great too!  But, he looks more like a Filipino man dressing up for Church than he does a vampire.  His teeth are the only thing that make it obvious that he's a blood sucker.  Other than that, he has a bit of a 'fro, a big smile, ears like me, and a wide nose.  Last time I checked, vampires are known for their long, pointy noses!  We may have an imposter on our hands.  Perhaps it's another case of Dr.Acula?

Cool, right?  That picture is another reason for today's combo platter.  Since the straws are so big, the Coffin Creepers slid right in and made for a fun time!  However, these cups were not bought for this sole purpose.  In fact, the comparisons were a complete coincidence.  A fortunate one, but certainly unplanned.  Regardless, I love that photo.  I have a smile on my face that's almost as big as Filipino Dracula.

Now, on to the flavors.  Beginning with the Bone Rattlin' Blue Raspberry, I can tell you that it tastes verrrry good!  It's not up there with the Blue Raspberry Blow Pop, but it's tasty!  I enjoyed eating his teeth and turning my tongue blue.  Always a Halloween highlight.  BUT.. that Vampire Very Cherry?  More like Very Boring!  I hardly tasted anything at all.  If anything, it was way too sugary and tasted like cheap Easter candy.  You know those little balls of sugar they put on the chocolate bunny's face for eyes?  That's what this entire lollipop tasted like! I didn't like the Vampire at all and that's disappointing because everything else about him is on point.  I had no complaints until I tasted the lollipop.  It might have had something to do with his black hair, because that was the worst, but I can't be sure because it was all pretty bad.  Kids would love this though and, for The Holidaze, these Coffin Creepers were amazing purchases.  I really enjoyed reviewing them but, unfortunately, only one of these Creeps can survive.  For the Vampire, it's only fitting that his Coffin goes where it belongs.

I put this Vampire back in his casket, dug a hole, and placed him into his eternal slumber.  It's sad, because he means so much to us all here at The Holidaze.  We will remember him for what he brought to the table, but it's time to say goodbye as we bury him.  Had he only tasted better, he would have lived on forever.  Of course, if he's a real vampire, he'll never die and will most likely haunt me in my dreams.  Just in case, let's cement this Creeper down!


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